The ‘Perfect Mom’ Myth: Regain Your Sanity

Is There Such a Thing as a Perfect Mom?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve planned motherhood to fit neatly into the space between a successful career, and nestling into a home with just the right partner. You’re a Type-A, used-to-controlling-your-life woman who’s joined the Mommy Club during an age of unreasonable expectations of women and mothers.

When you have a baby, everything spins out of control, and you start to feel like you’re living in a house of falling cards. Haircuts, folded laundry and sleep become luxuries. Your life revolves around naps and poops. You may begin to feel like you’re failing at everything, and become laser-focused on creating order. If so, you’re simply craving control. Welcome to your new (out-of-control) life.

How Trying to Be Perfect Is Detrimental

The harder you try to be a perfect mom, the more you wll set yourself up for failure. The more time you dedicate to being the perfect mom, the less time you will have for being present for your child. The more energy you spend making the perfect, spotless home, the less energy you will have for yourself and your partner.
What I want you to hear is that no parent is perfect. If you’re a new mother your biggest tasks are taking care of your child and taking care of yourself. Ideally, you would take care of yourself as lovingly as you care for your child. Think about that for a minute. Are you taking good care of yourself?

Everyone’s surely told you that motherhood will get better, but I’ll share a little secret with you. It doesn’t just happen. You don’t wake up one day and magically have an easier life with a flock of family to help. You have to decide that you don’t want to feel less than a “perfect mom”, and take steps to take care of yourself so you don’t become a totally depleted, empty shell of a woman who doesn’t resemble the real you. If this sounds familiar, don’t beat yourself up. This is all normal. And it can change, if you decide that you want it to change.

Here’s something you can do right here, right now:

Let Go of the Idea of the “Perfect Mom”

She doesn’t exist. Yes, you will make mistakes. Yes, you will lose your patience, and you will torture yourself about all the things you think you’re doing wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.
In your baby’s eyes, you are perfect, just as you are.

Breathe that in for a minute, and then….

I’d like to invite you to do a little exercise. Write this down. Put it in your wallet or stick it on your bathroom mirror, and read it daily. Let it be your Mommy Mantra, and then, apply it to every aspect of your life.

“I am good enough.”

Because you are. Pinky swear.