Benefits of Baby and Infant Sleep Training

Sleep training is hard, and there will always be a few tears, but there are numerous benefits for you and your baby. I’ll share what I know about sleep training, the difference between infant sleep training, baby sleep training and toddler sleep training, and I’ll share some of my tips to ensure that sleep training goes smoothly for your baby or toddler!

My journey with sleep training

Before I became a mother I had chronic insomnia, so I did more research on sleep training than I did for childbirth. I knew I wanted my baby to sleep through the night as soon as possible, so I read all the sleep training books and blogs while I was still pregnant. In 2004 when I became a mother, Michel Cohen of Tribeca Pediatrics had been recommending that parents sleep train their babies at 8 weeks, which is the advice I followed. However, his recommended method of closing the door and letting my baby cry for 12 hours wasn’t aligned so I tailored my approach for my baby based on everything that I had read and everything I noticed with my baby’s sleep cues and needs. Long story short, my firstborn was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks of age (with one dream feed), which ultimately led me to personally guide other families through sleep training in person.

Benefits of baby sleep

The main benefit we see when we help families with sleep training is that cranky, fussy, clingy babies become visibly happier and more able to play independently for longer periods very quickly. Babies get more uninterrupted, restful sleep after sleep training so they grow and develop much faster than babies who are sleeping in their parents’ arms, or waking up repeatedly all night long. And of course, the benefit you’ll see as parents is that you can also get uninterrupted, quality sleep, which has a ripple effect on your work, your relationships, and your other kids. If everyone is sleeping well, your whole family will be happier!

What is infant sleep training

First, let’s define the word infant and get clear about what age we’re talking about. Infant is kind of a subjective word, but when I talk about an infant, it’s a newborn baby who is 0-12 weeks old. You can’t sleep train a newborn less than 8 weeks old, but you can work on sleep “conditioning” (creating an ideal sleep environment, implementing healthy sleep routines and a feed/nap schedule) from day one. Very experienced postpartum doulas and newborn care specialists can help with that and may be able to help you prevent having to do any formal sleep training at all. When I talk about infant sleep training, I’m talking about babies from 8-12 weeks who need some behavior modification to help them learn to sleep independently, through the night, and for longer, restful naps. Sleep training is all about changing sleep associations so that your baby learns to self-soothe at the beginning of nights and naps so that they can learn to put themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night (and after one sleep cycle for naps). We at Mommywise help parents implement infant sleep training from about 10/11 weeks and/or when a baby is 12 pounds. 

What sleep training isn’t

Many people think that sleep training is simply letting your baby cry all night for 12 hours and not going into their room until 7am. That is NOT sleep training. Sleep training isn’t about letting your baby cry for hours and hours without intervention. Sleep training isn’t cruel or harmful for babies. Numerous studies show that the short-term discomfort from crying during sleep training doesn’t negatively impact (age-appropriate) infants or babies, and countless studies show that babies need restful, uninterrupted sleep for healthy growth and development. Sleep training also isn’t selfish, and it’s not about you. Babies need sleep just as much if not more than you do! 

When to sleep train an infant 

Some families in the care of Tribeca Pediatrics begin sleep training when their infant is 8 weeks old. Other baby sleep consultants won’t even offer to help you with sleep training until your baby is 4+ months old. We at Mommywise believe that when to begin sleep training your infant or baby is very personal and all caregivers must be aligned for it to actually work. We also recommend that your baby is close to 12 weeks and 12 pounds, ready to reduce to one overnight feed and that you are ready to move your baby to their own sleep environment (because it makes it easier for babies to learn to sleep independently if you’re not coming in and out of the room!).

Newborn sleep training (0-8 weeks)

We don’t recommend sleep training your baby straight home from the hospital, but you CAN start creating healthy sleep habits with a soothing bedtime routine, a feed/sleep schedule, and beginning to put your baby down awake so that they can learn to self-settle. From there, you can adjust your baby’s schedule so that they’re taking more calories during the day by putting them on a 3-4 hour feed schedule, and decreasing nighttime feeds. This is called sleep conditioning, and an experienced postpartum doula or newborn care specialist can help with that between 0-12 weeks. 

Infant sleep training (8-12 weeks)

If your infant is close to 12 pounds by 8 weeks, you could begin sleep training then. Even though I sleep trained my babies at 8 weeks old, I don’t recommend this for everyone. 8-12 weeks is on the young side for sleep training and we will help parents with sleep training an infant if the baby is close to 12 pounds when we begin, and ready to reduce to one overnight feed. Again, all caregivers need to be on the same page and I recommend that the baby is in their own sleep environment. To get comfortable and learn to self-soothe, we will also recommend moving to a regular sleep sack (not weighted!), and eliminating the pacifier unless they’re old enough to find it and put it back by themselves (from 6+ months).

Baby sleep training (3-12 months)

Between 3-12 months, most babies struggle with independent sleep and this is a great time to work on sleep training. By 3 months, your baby will most likely be ready to reduce to one overnight feed (unless your baby is on the lower end of the growth spectrum and/or your pediatrician recommends otherwise), and you’ll start to see the beginning of the 4-month sleep regression. 3-4 months is ideal for sleep training when you’re already seeing that your baby is struggling harder to connect sleep cycles and take longer than 30 minute naps. Between 4-7 months, sleep training is easier than sleep training toddlers who know how to pull themselves to standing. They have the physical ability to roll around and get comfortable, easily find their hands, and explore how they like to self-soothe. From about 6 months, babies who use pacifiers can learn to find the pacifier and put it back in their mouths themselves. Between 8-12 months, sleep training gets trickier because babies tend to start teething harder and going through huge developmental leaps. It’s not impossible but definitely harder to sleep train a baby who’s constantly getting teeth and learning new skills like standing, cruising and walking!  

Toddler sleep training (13 months – 3 years)

It’s never too late to teach your toddler independent sleep skills, but I’ll be honest. Sleep training a toddler is considerably harder than sleep training an infant or baby. First, your toddler will stand up and scream, maybe even yell Mama or Dada, which is absolutely heartbreaking during sleep training! With toddlers, sleep training can become a battle of wills. Toddlers have verbal abilities, physical abilities, and they have stronger stamina to fight you on every little thing. They fully understand cause and effect and will go through all their cards to get you back into the room and back into your arms. You have to have stamina to sleep train a toddler in a crib, and be prepared for more crying than any parent wants for their child. They may even fall asleep standing or sitting up during the first few days. The good news is that once your toddler is old enough to reason with – or old enough to “bribe” with rewards (usually closer to 2.5-3 years old), we can work with behavior modification techniques to coax your toddler to settle into a Big Kid bed, hopefully with fewer tears. It’s still much more challenging than sleep training a baby who can’t stand up and walk out of their room, but it is absolutely possible with our support!

How long does sleep training take?

How long sleep training takes depends on the “method” you choose. If you’re going to try something like the Taking Cara Babies or the Ferber Method (extinction with timed checks), sleep training could take several weeks, and may not work in the end because there is so much crying. With our support, we make sleep training as fast and easy as possible for babies, and it usually takes 3-5 nights and days of our in-home tailored support to teach your baby independent sleep skills, and give you the confidence to maintain healthy sleep habits indefinitely. It won’t be perfect after 3-5 days, but with our support, your baby or toddler will know how to sleep independently, and then it’s just a matter of tweaking their feed/nap schedule and falling into a predictable routine. You will experience setbacks, which is why we include four weeks of ongoing support with one of our expert baby sleep coaches. 

Can you sleep train for naps?

You can and should sleep train for naps in addition to nights. Babies need restful sleep night and day and unless you work on naps, your baby will always cry when you put them down for sleeps. Babies need consistency with sleep training so you should be working on teaching independent sleep skills during the day in conjunction with nighttime sleep training to make it easier for your baby. Many baby sleep consultants recommend working on sleep training for nights first before tackling naps, but after 14 years of sleep training babies in person, I can tell you with 100% confidence that babies learn independent sleep habits faster and easier if you work on day and night together. Naps take longer, however, so you might not see as much progress with naps in the first few days, but trust that they will come together with persistence and consistency.

Sleep training methods for infants

There are so many sleep training methods out there now, and all of them contradict one another. I find it maddening how much bad sleep training advice is available for purchase and how confusing it all is. They range from the “gentle” brand and the “no-cry sleep solution” methods (which honestly includes far more crying than any other method), to the Chair Method, to Taking Cara Babies and Ferber (timed checks) to “extinction” which include less interventions. CIO is a term that you’ll hear often but that’s just a general term for sleep training with a vague definition. Some people think that CIO means to leave your baby alone crying for 12 hours, but to be honest, all sleep training methods include crying, the only difference is how responsive you are to your baby crying. When we work with babies, there is always crying, and we always respond to babies genuine needs, so it’s not as simple as close the door and don’t go in for 12 hours. We observe babies’ body language and we listen to their voice and we help parents make real-time decisions based on what we’re seeing and hearing about when and how to go in and out of their baby’s room so as not to confuse them. The Mommywise method is wholistic and takes feeding schedules, personality, developmental stage and everything else in between in mind so that we can tailor an approach appropriate for each infant, baby or toddler. 

Tips to keep in mind when sleep training your infant, newborn, or toddler

My top tips for sleep training your infant, newborn, baby or toddler include:

• Create a restful bedtime routine that can be repeated at naptime
• Work on independent sleep for both naps and nights at the same time, starting with bedtime on night one
• Be consistent with your approach, night and day, so your baby doesn’t get confused
• Ensure that all caregivers are on the same page, or it just won’t work for anyone
• Give your baby a safe, restful independent sleep space for sleep training
• Use white noise to dim the sounds from outside your baby or toddler’s room
• Hire an expert to guide you through sleep training if you have the means
• If your baby has reflux, an oral restriction (tongue or lip tie), address that first
• Don’t try to sleep train when your baby is sick, or about to cut some teeth
• Don’t introduce new foods or formula within a week before and after you begin sleep training

If you’re ready to teach your infant, baby or toddler the magic of independent sleep and you know that you want an expert guide to lead you to sustainable results, reach out, we’d love to help you get you and your baby sleeping, and help you feel confident about what you’re doing!