Quick Answers:
- What are sleep associations? Sleep associations are the conditions or routines a baby connects with falling asleep, such as feeding, rocking, or using a pacifier.
- Can sleep associations cause night wakings? Yes. If your baby needs your help to recreate the same conditions when they wake, they may have difficulty falling back to sleep independently.
- Are all sleep associations bad? No. A positive sleep association is something your baby can access independently, while an association that requires your help can contribute to frequent wakeups.
- How do you change sleep associations? Sleep training teaches babies to fall asleep independently at bedtime and learn how to return to sleep when they naturally wake during the night.
- When should you address sleep associations? If your baby is 12+ weeks and increasingly difficult to put down, waking frequently at night, or taking short naps, it may be time to look at their sleep associations.
If your baby needs to be rocked, fed, held, or given a pacifier every time they fall asleep, you may be wondering: Is this normal? And could this be why my baby keeps waking up at night?
The answer starts with understanding sleep associations.
Most grown-ups have sleep associations, too. We fall asleep in a bed, in the dark, with a pillow and a blanket. If you woke up in the middle of the night and your pillow was missing, you might wake fully and look for it before falling back asleep.
Babies have sleep associations, too. They might fall asleep while feeding, being rocked or held, or with a pacifier in their mouth. The important question isn’t whether your baby has a sleep association. It’s whether your baby can recreate that association independently when they wake up.
Understanding infant sleep associations and how they affect your baby’s sleep
Learning new sleep associations is the foundation of sleep training. Right now, you might be feeding, rocking, or holding your baby to sleep. Maybe your baby also sucks a pacifier when they’re drifting off. These are the sleep associations newborns learn when we’re helping them to fall asleep. But if your baby is 12+ weeks and you notice that your baby is increasingly harder to put down, waking up more during the night, and/or taking short naps, you’ll want to take a look at your baby’s sleep associations and how they impact the middle of the night (and often, short naps).
What are infant sleep associations?
Sleep associations are the conditions we need to fall asleep. We all have them. Most grown-ups fall asleep in a bed, in the dark, with a pillow and a blanket. Those are your sleep associations. But what would happen if you woke up in the middle of the night and your pillow was missing? How would you fall back asleep? I would wake up fully and wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep until I found my pillow. Right?
Now, imagine that from your baby’s perspective. What are your baby’s sleep associations? What’s the precedent you set at the beginning of the night? What is your baby looking for when they wake up in the middle of the night? The difference is that some associations are easy for a baby to recreate independently, while others require a parent or caregiver to help. That distinction can make a big difference in how easily your baby falls back asleep during the night.
Examples of common sleep associations
Sleep associations can be different for every baby. Common examples include:
Baby sleep associations:
- Falling asleep with a pacifier
- Falling asleep while feeding
- Falling asleep while being rocked or held
- Falling asleep in a caregiver’s bed or parents’ bed
Adult sleep associations:
- Falling asleep with the TV on
- Falling asleep with your phone nearby
- Falling asleep in a dark room with a pillow and blanket
Having a sleep association isn’t necessarily a problem. The important question is whether your baby needs your help to recreate that association when they wake up.
Are sleep associations always a problem?
Not necessarily. Sleep associations are a normal part of falling asleep, and there’s nothing wrong with helping your newborn fall asleep by feeding, rocking, holding, or using a pacifier. The question is what happens as your baby gets older.
If your baby needs your help to recreate the same sleep association every time they wake up, it can make it harder for them to fall back asleep independently. But if your baby can recreate their sleep associations on their own, they can often return to sleep without your help.
Signs sleep associations may be affecting your baby’s sleep
How do you know if your baby’s sleep associations may be contributing to frequent wakeups or difficult naps? Look for patterns like these:
- Your baby needs to be fed, rocked, held, or given a pacifier to fall asleep.
- Your baby wakes frequently during the night and needs the same help to go back to sleep.
- Bedtime is becoming increasingly difficult or taking longer than it used to.
- Your baby regularly wakes after one sleep cycle during naps and needs your help to fall back asleep.
- You find yourself repeating the same soothing routine multiple times throughout the night.
If several of these sound familiar, your baby’s sleep associations may be contributing to their sleep challenges. The good news is that sleep associations can change. Sleep training can help your baby learn to fall asleep independently and develop sleep habits that support better nights and naps.
Positive vs negative sleep associations
Positive sleep associations are things one can easily repeat throughout the night whenever one wakes up. For example, you fall asleep in bed with a blanket and a pillow. When you wake up, you know how to roll over and fall back to sleep because you have everything you need right there with you.
Negative sleep associations are things a baby needs your help to do in order to fall asleep or get back to sleep. Because the sleep associations you offer at bedtime set the pattern for the rest of the night, your baby may come to expect that same help every time they wake up. For example, if your baby falls asleep while feeding or being rocked in your arms, they may need you to repeat that process when they wake during the night. These become “crutches” that can make it difficult for your baby to sleep independently. To sleep through the night, your baby needs to learn how to fall asleep and return to sleep without your help.
How sleep associations form
Sleep associations are learned from parents and caregivers. When you have a newborn, it’s perfectly normal to feed and rock them to sleep, or give a pacifier to help them snooze. Newborns need a lot more help than an older baby who has the ability to self-soothe. At Mommywise, we start sleep training babies from 12+ weeks old. By then, negative sleep associations have probably been formed, and through sleep training, we teach healthy positive sleep associations.
Why sleep associations affect night wakings
As I mentioned before, the sleep associations you establish during your baby’s bedtime routine are the precedent you set for the rest of the night. If your baby falls asleep feeding in your arms, or with a pacifier in their mouth, what will they look for when they wake up throughout the night? Because here’s the thing: all humans wake up all night long. Grown-ups know how to put themselves back to sleep. But if your baby is dependent on you to fall asleep, they’re probably going to need you every time they wake up throughout the night. They’ll want a bottle, pacifier, or whatever they had when they fell asleep.
Wondering why your baby’s sleep suddenly changed? Read more about understanding sleep regressions and how sleep training helps you and your baby navigate sleep regressions more smoothly.
How sleep training changes sleep associations and when to seek help
Sleep training is about teaching healthy or positive sleep associations at the beginning of the night (and for naps) so that when babies wake up in the middle of the night (or 30 minutes into a nap), they can put themselves back to sleep without effort. We work on teaching these skills at bedtime and for naps so that babies learn faster and easier, with less confusion and fewer tears.
If you’re trying everything under the sun to help your baby sleep but nothing’s working, reach out for professional help. Teaching new sleep associations is a challenging process, but it’s what we do every day! And, we’d love to show you in real-time how sleep training can help.
Ready to change your baby’s sleep associations?
Understanding sleep associations is the first step. The next is helping your baby learn to fall asleep independently and return to sleep when they naturally wake during the night.
If your baby is 12+ weeks and you’re struggling with frequent night wakings, short naps, or a bedtime routine that requires more and more of your help, sleep training may be the next step.
At Mommywise, we don’t just hand you a sleep training plan and leave you to figure it out. Our Coaches work with you and your baby in your home, in real time, so we can tailor the approach to your baby’s needs and guide you through the process with less confusion and fewer tears.
Every baby is different — and so is every sleep challenge.
Every baby is different — and so is every sleep challenge.
Learn About Mommywise Sleep Training
Not ready for sleep training yet? Start with our guide to creating a bedtime routine that supports healthy sleep.
Sleep Association FAQs
What are sleep associations?
Sleep associations are the conditions, routines, or things a baby connects with falling asleep. Common examples include feeding, rocking, being held, using a pacifier, or falling asleep in a parent’s bed. Sleep associations are normal, but some require a parent or caregiver to recreate them when a baby wakes during the night.
Can sleep associations cause frequent night wakings?
Sleep associations can contribute to frequent night wakings when a baby needs a parent or caregiver to recreate the same conditions they had when they fell asleep. For example, if a baby falls asleep while being rocked or fed, they may look for that same help when they naturally wake during the night. Learning to fall asleep independently can help a baby return to sleep without that assistance.
Are sleep associations bad for babies?
No. Sleep associations are a normal part of sleep, and helping a newborn fall asleep by feeding, rocking, holding, or using a pacifier is not inherently a problem. The concern is whether an older baby depends on an association that requires parental help every time they wake. Sleep training can help babies develop sleep associations they can recreate independently.
How do you change a baby’s sleep associations?
Sleep training can help change sleep associations by teaching a baby to fall asleep independently at bedtime and return to sleep independently when they naturally wake during the night or between nap sleep cycles. The approach should be appropriate for the baby’s age, development, and individual sleep needs.
